I'm Tired...

​

Yes, I am tired but not physically tired. Tired in my soul and tired in my heart. Don't worry as I'm not depressed. I'm just tired.

I am advocating for myself and for others like me. You may not be that person but I guarantee you will recognize someone you know in my description.

Please take a moment and read my words and consider taking action. The person that I am describing is there for others when they need support of any kind. They are volunteers. Very often volunteering themselves too much. They offer help and take care of things "behind the scenes". Quality friendships mean a great deal to them and they work hard to nurture those that mean the most.

You may never even notice what is happening, you just enjoy the benefits of their efforts. They put together groups and activities. They are the consument host. They like to make plans and give meaningful gifts. Often those gifts aren't "things" but thoughts, ideas, time, etc. It's very subtle but it's all-encompassing. And draining. You might not understand what effort it takes to be that person. And they can't help it as it's their nature to do it.

The reward of their efforts usually goes unrecognized or is recognized in the wrong way. They don't do it for public recognitions (although that is very nice and as a decent person you should do it anyway) or for payback. They do it because they want you to have a good life and they want to be a small part of the things that make your life good.

Ways that you can reciprocate or acknowledge and support this person (and you should) are many and varied. Give them the time that they need. It's not much I promise. Make them feel valued in their efforts by answering their text or email. Not just a couple of words either. I know that they put a little bit of thought in what they sent to you. Yes, we are all very short on time but honestly, technology has made things so much easier and faster we should really have MORE time don't you think? Why not spend some of that time on someone who spends it on you and your well-being?

Another thing that you can and should do is let them know when it's done. By done I mean the relationship. This kind of person will continue to beat that dead horse way past the point of any recovery. They instinctively believe that just one more connection will smooth the way to a clearer and purer relationship. If you aren't receptive it's devastating to them and they will only try harder further damaging what could maybe have been repaired. LET THEM KNOW IT'S OVER. In the age of relationships being carried out online for the majority rather than in-person, it's very easy to do "ghost" someone. That is where you just let them fade and your responses become further and further apart. STOP IT. Be an decent person and just let them know it's done or too much or whatever. Just let them know.

I fall squarely on both side of this situation. I am both this person and the recipient of this person's attentions. I have ghosted and been ghosted. I have gifted, arranged, volunteered and hosted. I fully understand what it means to be over-whelmed by this person and to over-whelm someone. I get it.

But right now I am tired. And I need. I also know there is someone in your life that is tired and also needs. Please acknowledge them. Fill their love tank or whatever needs to be done. You have benefitted from them and if you wish to continue to applaud their efforts and benefit, you need to take action of some sort. Reciprocate. It's like the partner that is loved well. They become the best, most beautiful version of themselves. This is all on you now.